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800 Killed in Karachi this Year!

August 5, 2011 Leave a comment

KARACHI: Ethnic and politically linked violence in Karachi has killed 800 people so far this year, Human Rights Commission of Pakistan said Friday.

About 800 people have been the victims of violent shootings in the last seven months,” Zohra Yusuf, chairwoman of the HRCP, told AFP. The HRCP previously said 490 people were killed in the first six months of the year and on Friday that another 300 people died in July.

“The figures compiled by our staff and the death toll for the last month confirmed by the police shows the number of victims of violence was not less than 300,” Yusuf said.

The government has campaigned to end the clashes and deployed hundreds of additional police and paramilitary forces in the city, but the killings have continued with 58 people reported dead in five days alone this week.

HCRP says the violence in Karachi is the deadliest since 1995, when more than 900 killings were reported in the first half of the year.

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30 Rules for Survival in Pakistan

June 15, 2011 Leave a comment

1.  If you are already filthy, and ridiculously rich, go directly to instruction number nine.

2.  If you do not think you can ever be rich living here, just die.

3.  If you are willing to do anything to be rich, please continue reading.

4.  Now that we have established that being rich is of the utmost importance, let’s review some steps on how to get there.

5.  Start early in life – lying is a good way to start. It can be your cornerstone for other things to come.

6.  Lie, cheat and steal. Schools are the best place to practice these attributes. Be as good as you can be at these. They will come in handy in the future.

7.  Be very clear in your mind, that whatever profession you choose or whatever you do in life should have only one purpose: to be filthy rich.

8.  If you think you have any other purpose in life, just die.

9. The poor don’t matter. They are only a figment of some people’s imagination.

10. Remember: All rules can be broken, twisted and manipulated in any way you want. You just have to be at the right post to do that.

11. It is okay to murder. It is not really a crime in this country. Blasphemy on the other hand might get you some whipping so that is a no-no.

12. Loans are not actually loans. They are free takeaways. They come with a no return policy.

13. The higher the post you occupy, the more it becomes your moral obligation to commit bigger crimes.

14. If you feel you are lagging behind in popularity, form a political party. (Free tip for naming your party: Doesn’t matter what you name it, just have ‘Pakistan’ somewhere in there.)

15. Bribes are only bribes if taken by people you don’t know.

16. Being a Maulvi grants you an added advantage of making up whatever rubbish you want to about religion.

17. Be very clear about your provincial background. If you don’t belong to any of the provinces and don’t think they mean more to you than the whole country itself, just die.

18. It is okay to make friends who are just as morally dead as you are. We are all going to hell anyway.

19. Don’t worry about going to college. A degree is a degree, be it fake or real.

20. If an opportunity presents itself to make money illegally, we all pity the fool who is left behind.

21. Traffic rules are for driving schools and senior citizens.

22. It is compulsory for you to buy the latest Land Cruiser, tint it up and leave off the number plates.

23. Have a Police mobile escort or two with you at all times. Also, it’s okay to drive on the wrong side of the road with your motorcade whenever you please.

24. By now if you’re finding it hard to keep up, just die.

25. If you have kids, and you love them, then make sure you do not send them to a university in this country.

26. When you feel you have amassed enough money by hook or by crook, amass some more.

27. You absolutely cannot live in a house or mansion whose size is less than 1,000 square yards.

28. If you feel you have reached a point where you have bent every rule and bribed everyone you could have bribed and still your work isn’t getting done, remember, there is always someone out there who can be bribed.

29. If traffic does not need to be held at a standstill for you to move around the city, then you have wasted your life.

30. If you felt you’re nothing like the people mentioned in these instructions and you still live in Pakistan, just die.

Social networking leads to sex faster

May 29, 2011 Leave a comment

Facebook, texting and other social networking tools make new couples to jump into bed faster, reveals a new US survey.

According that third annual sex survey by Shape and Men’s Fitness magazines , nearly four out of five women and three of five men say that digital intimacy leads to having sex faster, reports a foreign news agency.

However, only 38 per cent of women said they have actually slept with a date any sooner because of online intimacy.

Smart phones and laptops are the new toys that lead to the bedroom, it said, with nearly 80 per cent of women and 58 per cent of men saying social media tools leads to sex faster.

Moreover, texting is the topmost way lovers keep in touch, with men texting 39 per cent more often than calling and women 150 per cent more.

As many as 65 percent of those polled said they had been asked out by text and 49 percent through a Facebook message.

And as soon as the relationship clicks, 72 per cent of women reported scouring a current partner’s ex-girlfriends’ Facebook pages.

Even in the heat of passion, some people just can’t get enough of their digital devices, the survey found.

When a call or text comes in during sex, five per cent of respondents said they glance to see who is calling and one per cent said they stop to answer the phone.

And when the spark is extinguished, digital dumping is the new way to break up, with 43 per cent of women and 27 per cent of men reporting getting a text along the lines of “It’s not you, it’s me.”

For the heartbroken, the Internet keeps hope alive, with 81 per cent of all respondents saying they won’t de-friend an ex on Facebook and 75 per cent admitting to constantly checking a former sweetheart’s page.

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