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30 Rules for Survival in Pakistan

June 15, 2011 Leave a comment

1.  If you are already filthy, and ridiculously rich, go directly to instruction number nine.

2.  If you do not think you can ever be rich living here, just die.

3.  If you are willing to do anything to be rich, please continue reading.

4.  Now that we have established that being rich is of the utmost importance, let’s review some steps on how to get there.

5.  Start early in life – lying is a good way to start. It can be your cornerstone for other things to come.

6.  Lie, cheat and steal. Schools are the best place to practice these attributes. Be as good as you can be at these. They will come in handy in the future.

7.  Be very clear in your mind, that whatever profession you choose or whatever you do in life should have only one purpose: to be filthy rich.

8.  If you think you have any other purpose in life, just die.

9. The poor don’t matter. They are only a figment of some people’s imagination.

10. Remember: All rules can be broken, twisted and manipulated in any way you want. You just have to be at the right post to do that.

11. It is okay to murder. It is not really a crime in this country. Blasphemy on the other hand might get you some whipping so that is a no-no.

12. Loans are not actually loans. They are free takeaways. They come with a no return policy.

13. The higher the post you occupy, the more it becomes your moral obligation to commit bigger crimes.

14. If you feel you are lagging behind in popularity, form a political party. (Free tip for naming your party: Doesn’t matter what you name it, just have ‘Pakistan’ somewhere in there.)

15. Bribes are only bribes if taken by people you don’t know.

16. Being a Maulvi grants you an added advantage of making up whatever rubbish you want to about religion.

17. Be very clear about your provincial background. If you don’t belong to any of the provinces and don’t think they mean more to you than the whole country itself, just die.

18. It is okay to make friends who are just as morally dead as you are. We are all going to hell anyway.

19. Don’t worry about going to college. A degree is a degree, be it fake or real.

20. If an opportunity presents itself to make money illegally, we all pity the fool who is left behind.

21. Traffic rules are for driving schools and senior citizens.

22. It is compulsory for you to buy the latest Land Cruiser, tint it up and leave off the number plates.

23. Have a Police mobile escort or two with you at all times. Also, it’s okay to drive on the wrong side of the road with your motorcade whenever you please.

24. By now if you’re finding it hard to keep up, just die.

25. If you have kids, and you love them, then make sure you do not send them to a university in this country.

26. When you feel you have amassed enough money by hook or by crook, amass some more.

27. You absolutely cannot live in a house or mansion whose size is less than 1,000 square yards.

28. If you feel you have reached a point where you have bent every rule and bribed everyone you could have bribed and still your work isn’t getting done, remember, there is always someone out there who can be bribed.

29. If traffic does not need to be held at a standstill for you to move around the city, then you have wasted your life.

30. If you felt you’re nothing like the people mentioned in these instructions and you still live in Pakistan, just die.

Operation at PNS Base in Karachi comes to an end

May 24, 2011 Leave a comment

KARACHI: Pakistan’s navy says it appears to have regained control of a base that had been attacked and occupied by militants for more than 15 hours.

Spokesman Salman Ali said Monday commandos were still searching the sprawling facility in Karachi but that “apparently there is no more militant resistance.”

Attack on PNS Mehran

He says the navy would not release details on militant casualties until the base had been fully searched. Taliban militants assaulted the headquarters of Pakistan’s naval air force, battling on Monday security forces in the most brazen attack in the country since the killing of Osama bin Laden, killing 13 people, injuring 16 others and blowing up at least two military aircraft.

The dead include 11 navy officials and one Ranger.

Blasts rang out and helicopters hovered above the PNS Mehran base near Shahrah-e-Faisal almost 14 hours after more than 20 Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP) militants stormed the heavily guarded building with guns and grenades, blowing up at least two aircraft and casting doubt on the military’s ability to protect its installations.

Trucks carrying military and paramilitary rangers streamed into the base in the southern city of Karachi in the morning, as security forces tried to end the siege.

A senior security official, who declined to be identified, said the militants had taken over a building in the base. Another official stationed in the base said the militants had not taken any hostages, but added: “There is a chance that some terrorists have suicide belts or jackets.”

Sixteen military men were wounded in the attack, some reports said that at least three militants had been killed while trying to flee but nothing has been confirmed so far.

The base is 15 miles from the Masroor Air Base, Pakistan’s largest and a possible depot for nuclear weapons.

“They were carrying guns, rocket-propelled grenades (RPG) and hand grenades. They hit the aircraft with an RPG,” Navy spokesman Commander Salman Ali said of the militants.

A spokesman said two P-3C Orion, maritime patrol aircraft, had been destroyed and that intermittent gunfire was continuing.

Interior Minister Rehman Malik said earlier that the militants had attacked from the rear of the base. “We have been able to confine them to one building and an operation is underway either to kill or capture them,” he said.

Media reports said the attackers had made their way in through a sewer pipe but that was not confirmed. The military’s goal was to capture as many of the attackers alive as possible, television reported.

The attack evoked memories of an assault on Pakistan’s army headquarters in the city of Rawalpindi in 2009, and is a further embarrassment for the military, widely seen as the only properly functioning institution in Pakistan, in the wake of bin Laden’s killing.

The military has come under intense pressure from the United States and its own people for failing to know that bin Laden had been living in a garrison town, north of the capital and near a top military academy, for years, and also for allowing five US helicopters to penetrate Pakistan’s airspace and kill him.

Wave Of Bombings

Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani condemned the attack. “Such a cowardly act of terror could not deter the commitment of the government and people of Pakistan to fight terrorism,” Gilani said in statement.

Pakistan has faced a wave of assaults over the last few years, many of them claimed by the Pakistani Taliban. Others have been blamed on al Qaeda-linked militant groups once nurtured by the Pakistani military and which have since slipped out of control. The Taliban have stepped up attacks since bin Laden’s death, killing almost 80 people in a suicide bombing on a paramilitary academy and an assault on a US consular vehicle in Peshawar. The TTP is led by Hakimullah Mehsud, whose fighters regularly clash with the army in the northwest. The group also claimed responsibility for a botched plot to bomb New York’s Times Square last year.

The discovery that bin Laden was living in Abbottabad, has revived suspicions that militants may be receiving help from some people within the security establishment. Washington sees Pakistan as a key, if difficult, ally essential to its attempts to root out militant forces in neighbouring Afghanistan.

“We condemn the attack and our sympathies are with the families of those injured or killed,” the White House said in a statement.

What Uncle Sam said!

May 24, 2011 Leave a comment

“We condemn the attack and our sympathies are with the families of those injured or killed,” the White House said in a statement.
They condemn the attack and also show sympathies towards the families. Actually I am quite bored from these statements in this world of politics. I ask them, what is the matter with the US Government. Why they always interfere the matters of Pakistan? Militants are martyred here in Pakistan, losses are made of the families of the martyrs and the US government is condemning the attack.

Revenge of Osama’s Death?

May 24, 2011 2 comments

“It was the revenge of martyrdom of Osama bin Laden. It was the proof that we are still united and powerful,” Taliban spokesman Ehsanullah Ehsan told Reuters by telephone from an undisclosed location.

 

First of all! Osama is not dead. This is just another drama made by USA Govt. When I was in school, I heard in news that Osama is dead, then again in 2011 I heard that Osama is dead.

 

What all is this!      Is this is bloody Start Plus Drama that Osama gets dead every season.

 

I got a text from my friend that Osama got killed 3 times by US Govt. Stop this! Even the STAR PLUS DRAMAS don’t kill their characters thrice. 😛

 

Actually, acoording to me Osama is not dead. He is a person who can’t be dead. I am not  a spokesman or a spy or any other. These are just my thoughts that Osama is not dead. Many reason and explanations are their that US must give that Osama is dead!

 

Why did the Navy Seals didn’t showed up the dead body of Osama!

 

I heard that all the personnel including Obama (Not Usama) and Hillary Clinton were watching the whole operation live. Then why didn’t they showed up a video related to this operation. They would have exposed few snaps or a video of 1 min. At least they should provide a single proof for this operation. But they didn’t and they can’t! Because Osama is still alive and once again after 10 years from now you will again hear that Osama is killed.

 

Not speaking and telling that Osama is dead means nothing. Even for a small incident , a court asks for proof and in this case they have no proof! No no body and nothing!

 

Osama was living in Abottabad for over 5 years and no one knew about it and and he was living in one of the most secure place near the PMA (Pakistan Military Academy). No one again knew about him! How this could be possible. I dont believe this!

 

Think about it!

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